6th grader has his life threatened, parents concerned with lack of action by school
If you watched the news earlier on WTVG, there was a story reported on a a 6th grader in Sylvania was threatened with being stabbed/killed:
Sylvania Township parents say a student threatened to kill their son on the school bus. Now police are investigating and a student has been suspended.
The students involved attend Timberstone Junior High in Sylvania. Punishments and investigations continue inside the school and by Sylvania Township police as authorities try to figure out what happened and what to do about it.
What was not reported that I’ve been told is that this incident could be racially motivated. The young boy who was threatened is black and is the adoptive son of a white family. Part of the issues related to the previous bullying of the 6th grader involved insults that were racial.
Why this information was shared with me and why I felt it was important to point out is that there is the panel on racism in our community happening Thursday. Stories like this show how far we have to go when it comes to treating others with respect and decency.
Just goes to show – no matter where you live, go to school, bad things can happen.
Zero tolerance – it should be applied across the board.
Now here is where it gets real touchy. 6th grade. Young enough that mistakes can be forgiven, discipline can be delivered, the offender can change his behaviour, and hopefully, the community can get past it. The real problem here (if your post is correct) is where did a 6th grader learn to insult another person based on race? I would certainly hope that it is just “bus talk” and not learned at home.
May 21st, 2008 at 8:03 amI think that it should be more than zero tolerance. The kid (a sixth grader) already is racist and knows all of that stuff; why not go after the parents. Besides the obvious lawsuit, damage them for teaching racism to their son in the news, have a PTO about it, etc. Racism in any form is despicable.
Thanks
May 21st, 2008 at 8:08 am-Robert Barga,
http://whalertly.blogspot.com/
Bullying should not be tolerated, period. I don’t care how old the bully is. Bullies are nothing but cowards. My heart goes out to this child, imagine being threatened like that.
May 21st, 2008 at 10:49 amAs a parent of a child who was bullied, intimidated and basically “framed” on a near daily basis, I can tell you that the toll this takes on the child AND the family is enough to tear a family apart!
Fortunately, in our situation, the bully was finally caught, and the situation, for the most part, has come to an end. But it came very close to causing the end of a 16 year marriage because the stress from it carried over to things that had absolutely nothing to do with the situation at hand.
Bullying and intimidation is nothing new with kids, but unfortunately is more accepted because many parents don’t want to believe that their littlle prince or princess is capable of doing such things. Parents need to take the blinders off and wake up! And schools need to start realizing that things like this are exactly why situations like Columbine happen! Kids cannot deal with stress and pressure like adults do, they have not learned what we have learned yet and when they are pushed to their breaking point, they make drastic choices!
My thoughts are with the family of the child that was threatened as well as the family of the child that made the threats. Both of these children need to be supported and helped to overcome what they have been through as well as what they have done, and they need to know that it is NOT acceptable!
May 21st, 2008 at 11:05 amI do believe the school system has a zero tolerance policy. They should probably use it.
May 21st, 2008 at 11:05 amIt just came across the news that Old Orchard was locked down this morning because a 10 yr old brought a knife to school. How sad!
May 21st, 2008 at 12:08 pmHolly –
This just further my point, at what point do we stop blaiming just the kid and start blaiming the parents. Until that kid is old enough to know better (say, 13) then the parents should be held just as lible as the kids.
Thanks
May 21st, 2008 at 12:29 pm-Robert Barga,
http://whalertly.blogspot.com/
I saw this on the news last night. The parents of the bully seem to come across as it being “no big deal”. And the bully is in the 8th grade. So, that would make him around the age of 13. You’re going to get the thug mentality no matter where you go. Sometimes it’s worse in the burbs because the thug’s parents usually have money/influence.
May 21st, 2008 at 1:20 pmRobin -thanks for pointing that out – I was heading over to post that the boy who was accused of the bullying and the threat was an 8th grader.
May 21st, 2008 at 1:28 pmBarga,
I agree 100%! As a parent it is my RESPONSIBILITY to make sure that my own children know that behavior like this is completely unacceptable, PERIOD! I’m not a perfect parent, I know that. I also know that my children are not perfect. But this type of behavior has to stop NOW! Kids fighting and arguing is a fact of life, but bullying, intimidation and threatening the use or actually using weapons is WRONG! You can’t go into work and do stuff like this and get away with it, and until children are taught this, it is going to continue to go on and it IS going to get worse!
I wish I had an answer or a magic wand that I would wave that would make this kind of stuff stop, but I don’t. So the only thing that I can do is to my best to make sure my children know that it’s not acceptable and support them if they come to me telling me that they are on the receiving end of this type of behavior!
May 21st, 2008 at 1:38 pmRobin,
Unfortunately that reaction from the offender and their family is too common. Rather than taking responsibility and doing something to keep it from happening again, they just blow it off saying that it wasn’t a big deal, or that it’s not as bad as it’s being made out to be, which could possibly be true.
But from what we’ve gone through, when “little” things happen on a continuous basis, it stops being “not that bad” because the victim is now in a state of mind that makes them feel afraid for every little thing that happens. I know this because I’ve seen it first hand, I’ve worked through the tears and the fears and I’ve tried to do what I can do to prevent it from getting worse. The pain is unbelievable, and the lack of support makes it that much worse!
May 21st, 2008 at 1:43 pmHolly –
This is why I am very glad that mother handled me well. It took me most of my 20 years on this planet to realize this. Every time I would say ‘Well, so and sos parent lets them do X’, she wouldn’t care. I am glad she punished me, glad she spanked me, and glad that she made sure that if I wanted to do something I had to write an essay about why (made me only want to do what I really wanted to do). Frankly, that is the problem with society these days, the parents want to be friends, not parents.
My mother not only gave me a great start on life, but she gave me all the tools I need to win. Kindness, Empathy, and honesty are essential tools.
Thanks
May 21st, 2008 at 1:46 pm-Robert Barga,
http://whalertly.blogspot.com/
And for what it’s worth, these types of things happen in every type of school, in every income level, in every race, in every sex. This is one of the things in life that has no bounds for discrimination!
It’s done by the rich and the poor, the males and the females, the whites, blacks, asians, hispanics, etc. No one race, sex or income level is immune to being an offender OR a victim! And what’s even worse is how it is being tolerated or simply dismissed as “kids being kids”.
May 21st, 2008 at 1:50 pmSchools don’t have zero tolerance policies…they’re to politically correct.
How can you go after the parents…you don’t know that they taught their child racism.
And people still call me and my wife crazy for home-schooling….I think sending your kid to an environment where they are subjected to bullying, physical harm, lack of education….is crazy.
May 21st, 2008 at 5:15 pmI think the school did the right thing in suspending the kid. But my question is where did the kid get the idea. Maybe his Mom had an abortion and the kid thought if shes allowed to kill my brother or sister why am I not allowed to kill the kid bothering me.
May 21st, 2008 at 8:39 pmInteresting theory conservative voice of reason, but it’s more likely that an addiction to video games where killing is the goal to the point where it seems some develop an insensitivity to violence and revel it in would probably be more likely. That and media that confirms the violence factor and that’s without even considering the racial aspect where apparently someone has taught him that it’s okay to pick on and threaten someone who’s different.
May 21st, 2008 at 11:03 pmThe school systems have zero tolerance policies for a reason and they should be strictly enforced. When we show kids that these types of behaviors are not tolerated, it is a lesson that all of them need to learn. There are alternative forms of education where this boy could still be in school.
May 21st, 2008 at 11:52 pmLisa –
I greatly disagree, I have been playing violent games my whole life (well, 15 years of it or so) and I have never had the urge to do these sorts of things before. We are quick to put them blame on the games, but it is actually the parents fault. Have you ever played a violent game and then shot somebody? I didn’t think so. It is clear that your reasoning there is fallacious.
Frankly, I think violent games are actually better for society, as they allow us to vent out anger on animated people, not real ones.
-Robert,
May 21st, 2008 at 11:58 pmhttp://whalertly.blogspot.com/
Robert, I think violence in video games would have more of an affect than abortion…that’s where my comment was based on.
Aside from that as a parent of five, four of which are grown, I’ve seen some of the differences in each age group and experts have suggested there is a connection, one example.
May 22nd, 2008 at 6:44 amI’m fairly certain that the act of bullying pre-dates both video games and legalized abortion.
May 22nd, 2008 at 7:47 am>> kooz Says:
>>And people still call me and my wife crazy for home-schooling….I think
>>sending your kid to an environment where they are subjected to
>>bullying, physical harm, lack of education….is crazy.
I don’t think your crazy and certain understand and respect your right and admire your energy to home school.
However, I often wonder if protecting kids from harsh things is really preparing them for their future as adults. There are going to be bullies all through their lives. I hope your kids will be able to deal with that when you are not there insulating them.
Please don’t take this as criticism, because it is not intended to be. My wife and I had these conversations before we decided on how to educate our kids.
I understand that there are many social activities available with other families that home school their children so kids do get interaction outside of their circle. I hope you give your kids the benefit of that interaction.
No as far as video games – my kids love video games. Racing cars, motor cycles, etc. But realistic shoot ‘em up games a strictly prohibited.
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:47 amLisa –
I am going to agree with Craig on this one, video games are relatively recent, and, we have gotten much much better sense then. With the exception of Halo and Smash, most bullies do not play violent video games, as most bullies are in the hip crowd and the games were uncool. Until about my sophomore year in high school it was UNCOOL to play any video games, so the argument that the bullies (mine were all jocks, they stopped when I stared them down) are due to the games is slightly absurd.
However, I do think that the games should be limited to their target audience. Again, Parents need to step it up.
Thanks
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:55 am-Robert Barga,
http://whalertly.blogspot.com/
If you go back to the context of why I made that statement, which was in response to the suggestion that abortion created the situation, it’s a bit different than had I suggested that alone was a cause. I did not do that and I don’t think you can blame video/television/movies alone.
As to parental responsibility, that would also be a factor when it comes to the topic of the electronic media access of children as well. Not all of these games/movies/shows were designed for children/young teens, some were created specifically for a mature audience. Which means, you can not blame the creators alone for any issues proven or suggested as an end result. It goes back to the parents…I’m a parent of five, I understand the various rating systems were designed to give a general age category. It’s up to us to determine if our child is “ready” with the potential of each child having a different time frame, with the bottom line being parental responsibility…
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:49 amThe way my mother handled it was interesting (and, seeing as I am a good young adult (that term only applies to those over 18, no matter what society says) I can testify that it works).
1) She checks each game/show/movie out (reads, might play, etc.)
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:54 am2) If she approves I can play/watch
3) If she doesn’t, she made me write a 5 page essay (single spaced) explaining what significant cultural values the thing can instil
4) If I did it well, I could play/watch
5) THroughout my life she tossed morals at me to see how I would handle them
Whatever the cause, the threatener should be let known that that sort of behavior is not appropriate. I’m not naive enough to believe that the kid will actually learn his lesson somuchas have even more hatred in his heart, however.
“Maybe his Mom had an abortion and the kid thought if shes allowed to kill my brother or sister why am I not allowed to kill the kid bothering me.”
Nice job tying in the abortion debate… You could have also blamed the war in Iraq. And the homosexuals. If they can sin, why can’t I? Just saying
I’m sure video games don’t cause people to be violent 100% of the time, or maybe not even 1% of the time… However, you have to think, might an impressionable kid get an idea from this game? Yes. Is that a good reason for censorship? I don’t think so. I think it’s something that is preventable by proper communication and behavior monitoring. If your kid is a bully at school, would you know?
The psychology of a bully would be interesting to investigate.
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:54 amI think the kid is a bully because he’s just a bratty snot. Seeing how his parents reacted to this whole situation by blowing it off as “no big deal”, the kid probably has never had to answer for past inappropriate behavior.
And on top of all that, Junior High kids are probably the meanest people on earth. At least for me, junior high was a level of hell.
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:52 amAs the brother of the child who has been picked on, I have a few things to say.
First, this type of racist abuse has been going on for months. Comments such as “Go back to Africa,” “I’ll make you my slave,” and a host of racial slurs on top of that. This is not an isolated incident, and the media ignored the most crucial aspect of this entire thing: Racism. They literally took my words out of context, used them to reference bullying, when in reality I was referring to the racism within the Sylvania community and the inaction on the part of the school administration.
Had a white child been threatened with a knife by Damon, we would probably be trying to get him out of juvey right now, or he would be expelled, or some other severe punishment. I do not know that undoubtably, of course, but the simple fact of the matter is that thier is a large and unmistakable double standard in disciplinary measures within the school systems. This, of course, is a reflection of the larger judicary system at large.
Racism such as this is rampant within our community. Not only Damon, but other children have been targets of racist verbal assaults, with people in positions of power doing little to nothing about it. But this is not only within the school systems, outside racism is a major problem as well. Various examples could be cited here, of course, such as the terrible vandalism aimed at the Muslim school last year, the neo-Nazis marching in our city, Jeffery Turner being tasered to death for being black and LOITERING.
It’s a big problem, and what upsets me the most is that the administration and the media ignore this.
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:37 pmLOUDER TOLEDO PEOPLE CANT HEAR YOU SCREAM RACISM! ITS LIKE EVERY WEEK I HEAR ANOTHER THING… OH…. IT HAD TO BE RACIALLY MOTIVATED. ITS SO ANNOYING THESE KIDS ARE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL RACE MEANS VERY LITTLE TO THESE KIDS.
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:47 pmYeah, thats easy to say when you are not the one facing the constant verbal attacks.
Obviously some environmental factors lead to these disgusting and racist comments. Aside from other issues, our society is often racially motivated, and thus, things produced in OUR society are, de facto, instilled with those ideas/principles in relation to race.
And, glad you could articulate yourself with those sweet complete sentences and caps lock. Good job.
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:33 pm# 27 Derek >>
Your brother is lucky to have an advocate such as yourself – keep it up.
But please don’t think that “all” people share the views of what this “Damon” character is all about. Racism, unfortunately, is a polarizing issue and is also very uncomfortable to deal with – no matter what race one is.
I happen to have numerous friends in Sylvania and I can promise you that there is not a racist bone in their being. Just because everyone doesn’t become an activist doesn’t mean they condone it.
In this case what I wish really would have happened is other kid’s present that don’t agree with this Damon character need not be wallpaper and speak up or do something. But with today’s society, not getting involved or getting into a good old fashioned donny-brook isn’t allowed. It’s too bad.
May 23rd, 2008 at 8:35 amDerek,
May 23rd, 2008 at 9:34 amAs a parent who has dealt with their child being bullied and intimidated, I can only say that your brother is very lucky to have you in his corner. I don’t know specifics or details, but I do know the pain and anguish that the entire family goes through because of this. No, ours isn’t racially motivated, so I can’t relate to that aspect of it. I hope that your brother can get through this without any permanent “scars” and go on to lead a great life! I’m sorry that your family is going through this!
Derek
Keep crying about how you or your brother gets attacked everyday
I’m sure it happens all the time I know it does to me when I walk five steps and get verbally attacked again. Why don’t you confront the kids if you’re so concerned about it? Its pretty sad you have to impress people with the way you write on a blog site Derek. People are so THIN SKINNED now a days probably get a lawsuit if you order crackers or BLACK coffee. It seems like I am just hearing grown ups crying about the same old crap their parents used to cry about. The only scars anyone should have after being attacked constantly are the one that will make them stronger otherwise just keep crying about it and don’t do anything that will solve your problems.
May 23rd, 2008 at 11:07 amMatt, sharing more information than the media reported is not “crying” nor should it create a scenario where Derek is being personally insulted. Nor is suggesting that Derek end up being the one prosecuted when some parent complains that his kid is being picked on by an older person and if you have followed what has been shared here and hinted to in the media, Derek’s family did try to address this issue, with the other parents and within the school system.
Kids kill other kids, in almost every single scenario where there has been a murder or murders in a school there were warning signs. Warning signs that were ignored…It’s the job of the school to act when these types of things happen whether it is a verbal threat that might never be acted on or one that would. It’s the job of the parents to act, and it appears from what I know, Derek’s parents did what they were supposed to do, they should not have to be forced to pull their child from school when he’s not the problem. However, time and time again that’s what parents in our area end up having to do because the school system does not act.
May 23rd, 2008 at 11:16 amI guess in the old days news like this wouldn’t get anywhere – unless the paper or tv news decided to run it.
Blog away – unlike corporate run news, you don’t have to worry about getting edited (the facts, that is).
Or you could always just wait to hear what the school district says about it. I mean, what the school district’s lawyers say about.
Gee, who are you going to believe?
May 23rd, 2008 at 2:50 pmOh I personally insulted him too bad. Some people just don’t know what to do ….. Well harassment is a legal issue to take up, was anything in writing between the parents and the school system? To talk about murders come on give it a break how many schools are there in America? Then break that down to how many people died in the Ohio school system from murders? Like I said before blow this all out of proportion. AMERICA is a tolerant society or it used to be until you cant smoke within 25 feet of a building or even in a bar. Now if someone is picking on him and calling him names blah blah blah so what how many times did you get called names when you were a kid. Did you turn out ok? Did you shoot anyone? Did you have emotional scars? Probably none of the above get some thicker skin and deal with it. So if this kid did threaten him then why even take him or the school to court have him publicly spanked in front of the school I think that may deter some students from acting like fools.
May 23rd, 2008 at 4:19 pmOh yeah lisaRenee check out this Harvard study that shows violent games do not create or even help create violent children check out this web address
http://www.infendo.com/culture/harvard-says-video-games-dont-create-violent-children/
bad parenting shouldnt be blamed on video game makers
May 23rd, 2008 at 4:31 pmMatt, right up at the top of the screen on this blog the rules are posted. I don’t expect people to agree with each other, I know people will disagree at times. However, if you have not read them? You might want to.
The reason why some children are dead right now is because threats were ignored. Not everything can be prevented but to ignore the fact that school murders have increased compared to what they were like two decades ago doesn’t create solutions. It’s really easy to say someone should “just get over” something or “stop being so sensitive” I don’t disagree that at times there is an over-reaction. Yet, it’s the job of the school and the parents to create as safe of an environment as possible. In this scenario, given what is known? It’s clear that the parents and others spoke out. While murders are rare as you stated in comparison to the number of schools, there is a connection to bullying in most of these stories.
According to the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center (www.safeyouth.org), more than 5.7 million (30 percent) of students in the United States are estimated to be involved in bullying as either a bully, a target of bullying, or both.
May 23rd, 2008 at 4:38 pmMatt, I didn’t say video games were responsible alone – and if you want to exchange studies there are those out there that disagree with the Harvard study, that include the APA.
If you read what I wrote, it’s been made very clear that parents are the responsible party when it comes to what their children have access to in electronic media.
I feel like I’m beating the dead horse on this but again, my statement was in response to the suggestion that somehow abortion caused this scenario. My suggestion that electronic media had a part was in response to it being a more viable cause as opposed to abortion. That was the context.
May 23rd, 2008 at 4:46 pmDerek,
Your brother is lucky to have you in his corner.
Sylvania City Schools have an anti-harassment policy but they wait too long to enforce it. We have a family member who attends Central Elementary School and they are pitiful in how they respond to verbally and physically aggressive kids. They want the kids to work it out but when the school culture supports harassment and bullying or racism then the harassment is perpetuated. What some people don’t get is that there is a portion of the student (and adult) population, who like the power they get from offending, intimidating and harassing other kids. Keep up the good work.
June 27th, 2008 at 9:00 am